Matt Cain retires with the highest possible honor

Dibs says right-hander has earned a place on Mt. CainMore

Dan Dibley
September 28, 2017 - 2:13 pm

San Francisco Giants veteran pitcher Matt Cain is calling it a career having won 104 games, three World Series titles, and pitched one of 23 perfect games in MLB history.

But those accolades — and the tens of millions of dollars he has earned — pale in comparison to the honor of being selected to adorn the Mt. Rushmore of Cains or, Mt. CainMore as it were.

Even though he spells his last name with an extra vowel, actor Michael Caine is in the George Washington position on Mt. CainMore.

Over a more than six-decade career, Caine has been a fixture in many classic feature films. From Hannah And Her Sisters to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels to his turn as Alfred in the Dark Knight films, Caine has been one of the great actors of our time.

In the Abraham Lincoln position might be a surprise to some but those in the know realize the greatness of Jonathon Cain, former keyboarder for Journey, The Baby’s and Bad English. This recently-minted Rock and Roll Hall of Famer wrote many hit songs and has also recorded eight solo albums.

In the Thomas Jefferson spot is the man who played television’s Superman: Dean Cain. This handsome Adonis (allegedly) has a long if not distinctive filmography and while he’s best known as Lex Luthor’s nemesis, his brief stint with the Buffalo Bills deserves mention as well.

Which leads us to the Roosevelt position on Mt. CainMore and, with apologies to Herman and The Caine Mutiny, this spot belongs to the (former) Giants right hander.

Having won the three rings (see even years 2010, 2012, and 2014) as well as authoring a perfecto on my son’s 11th birthday (we weren’t there #badparenting) earns him this spot in history.​

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